It’s Christmas. Some of the best movies ever are Christmas movies. My Christmas tradition? When everyone in the house is getting ready to go to sleep, I stay up for a good while and watch some movies. Tonight? Christmas Vacation and Elf. Why the hell not!? So here, in the holiday spirit, are some of the best quotes from those Christmas movies.
Merry Chirstmas to all, and to all a good night!
“I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.”
“I like to whisper too.”
“It’s just like Santa’s workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms… and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me…”
“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”
“Smiling is my favorite!”
“SANTA!!!!! OH MY GOD! SANTA, HERE? I KNOW HIM! 10 AM TOMORROW!”
“You did it! Congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It’s great to be here.”
“You sit on a throne of lies. You stink. You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.”
“The shitter’s full!” “Oh, you hear that honey, the shitter’s full!”
“Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
“Nervous or excited?” “Shittin bricks.” “You shouldn’t use that word.” “Sorry, shittin rocks.”
“If that cat had nine lives it sure used ’em all.”
“Since this is Aunt Bethany’s 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.” “Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.”
“She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don’t know.”