Greyhound: A True Story

This is a true story, which comes in two parts. The first part takes place before I got on the bus, and the second part takes place after. The events, people, and story have not been changed. I learned part one from the people sitting around me who were on the bus before me. I apologize for any grammatical errors. I just needed to write this down as soon as I could! Sorry Becky…

    Becky and Paul, a happy couple, got on the Greyhound bus in Sacramento. Paul is about 6’4” and lanky. He has red hair, a beard, and what looks like a fake tan. Becky is about 5’9” and plump. She also has red hair, which looks dirty, and clumped together. They both had track marks all over their arms, so their drug use history was visible to the world. They planned to go to Portland. They get on the bus, and begin to prepare for their long trip. In order to help pass the time, they begin to drink a little. And then a lot. By the time they reached Redding they were completely trashed. The drinking had not affected Becky’s voice, but Paul began to speak like the Greased Up Deaf Guy from Family Guy. They began to argue with each other. Becky slapped Paul in the face. “If you slap me one more time, I swear to God I will hit you!” Becky slapped Paul in the face. “If you slap me one more time, I swear to God I will hit you!” Becky slapped Paul in the face. “If you slap me one more time, I swear to God I will hit you!” Finally, Becky slapped Paul in the face so hard, that his nose began to bleed. And with that, Paul and Becky broke up.

    When I got on the bus in Medford, Or, Paul and Becky had decided to not sit next to each other. Instead, they sat one behind the other. The first thing I hear out of either of their mouths is Becky yelling “HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! WE BROKE UP!” I didn’t realize that “we broke up” meant “we broke up 15 minutes ago.” I also didn’t realize they were completely wasted. The bus driver came to the back before we left and said “you two need to cool it, or I’m kicking you off at the next stop. Make this an enjoyable trip for everyone else! Now pick up your clothes, and pull up your pants!” “Paul! Pull your pants up!” I knew I was ready for an enjoyable ride. Paul began to yell at Becky. “You’re a prostitute! You’re a prostitute! And you won’t admit it because you don’t want no one to know, but you are! You’re a prostitute! I’m gonna call the police and have you arrested and you’re gonna go to jail! And I got the bite marks to prove it! I got em!” Becky responds, “I didn’t bite you! I didn’t bite shit!” Paul began to grab at Becky’s arms and shake her seat. “Give me my money! You owe me $50!!!! Give me money!!!” “I don’t owe you anything. I’m not gonna give you anything! I’ll give you $10! I’m not giving you shit,” (which I found rather contradictory), “Now you stop touching me or I’m getting the bus driver!” Paul exclaimed, “No you won’t! I’ll get her first!” Becky stood up and moved two rows in front of me. Paul still was sitting 3 rows behind me. After Becky gets seated, Paul started to call for her. “BECKY! BECKY!” Every time he called for her, she would turn around, glare at him, and point at him. Paul then got up from his seat and walked down to Becky’s seat. He leaned in, trying to talk to her, and she continually turned away. He then put his hands on her shoulders, just to have them knocked off. Paul then proceeded to walk to the front of the bus, say something to the driver and walk back to Becky. When he reached Becky, he took the almost empty bottle of what appeared to be vodka. As we continued on our way towards Central Point, Or, I heard Paul weeping behind me. “*SOB* BECKY!!!!! *SOB* BEEECCCKKKYYYY!” As the bus comes to a halt at the Central Point gas station, both Paul and Becky get off the bus to get food…and argue a little more. As they walk towards the Taco Bell, Paul continued to reach out towards Becky, only to be rejected. The bus driver came to the back of the bus, and asked where Paul was sitting. She then looked through his stuff, and kicked them both off the bus. They both tried to get back on the bus several times, to no avail. As we drove away, we see Becky, pissed as could be, leaning against the wall of Taco Bell, and Paul is nowhere to be seen. Becky then stood up, and started walking towards the bus, which was waiting at a red light. We then noticed she was not walking towards the bus, but towards Paul, who was lying down sideways in a bush. He was urinating. Lying down. Sideways. Becky then looked at Paul, yelled at him, and took his backpack, which was overflowing with clothes, and walked away. We all then looked at Paul, who was zipping up his pants. And as we drove away, we all watched Paul army crawl down a dirt hill and onto the sidewalk.

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