A letter

January 22, 2008

Dear Jazzy-

   We got you when I was 3. We were “the little ones.” We “grew up” together. You were the puppy and I was the baby. I remember my mom being on the phone talking to the people, and saying that she was going to pick you up from LAX in a few days. Katie named you Princess Jasmine Horwitch, after Jasmine from Aladdin. But we called you Jazzy for short. You came with us from the Encino house to Calabasas. You were scared to walk up and down the stairs, so we had to carry you. You wouldn’t go to the bathroom in the sideyard, so my mom told my dad to show you how to do it. My mom wouldn’t let me take you on walks when I was little because she thought you would drag me when you started running. Then one day you did and I skinned my knee. I was walking you when we found the baby bunnies in the box down the street. I though it was a snake and quickly ran you back up to the house. I remember when Maddy, the Great Dane from across the street, bit you in the neck. We were all so scared, but you were fine. You kept on running around like nothing happened. You had you’re “spaz-attacks” and would run like a mad man around the house until you couldn’t run anymore. I would be playing soccer or baseball in the backyard and you’d run and try and chase the ball….but never fetch. We had so many nicknames for you: Jazz, Boosie, Mrs. Fitelberg, Spaz. At Christmas you had your own stocking, and there was always a bone under the tree for you. When I was really little I would take a picture of you on vacation with me- wherever we traveled. I guess I saw people in movies bring pictures of family with them on trips. Since my family was with me, I brought you. We always though of you as the 3rd kid, and I think you thought of yourself like that too. It was always Katie, Alex, and Jazzy. Mom calls the kids into the room. In run Katie, Alex, and Jazzy. Always. You would wait with me and mom for carpools to Castlemont, or the bus/van to Camp Kinneret. You were in the car when we got a flat tire a block away from the Encino house. You were in the car when we got into an accident outside of the Commons after one of your joint birthday parties with Amber Mainstain. 
When we got Bella we thought it would change you, and you would realize you were a dog. But Bella just brought out a more playful side. You never had another dog to play with, and suddenly there was one that wouldn’t leave you alone. Although you may not be as active as you once were, you are still my Jazzy. My Boosie. My dog. My first pet. For 15 years you have been a constant in my life. From Temple Judea, to Castlemont, to AE Wright and AC Stelle, and all the way to Senior year of Calabasas High, you have been the thing that never changed. Yes, you may have gotten older and slower, but it has still always been you; my Jazzy. I don’t want to say goodbye, but I have to. It’s something that has to be done. But nothing can take away pictures, videos, and memories. Like how mom talks about Pixie, or Alfie, or Terry, or Casey Jones, or how dad talks about “The Friz’s,” I will talk about you. I will always have you in my mind, and through pictures. Whenever I watch or see something about Aladdin, I will think of you, Princess Jasmine Horwitch. Bella will miss you. Mom and Dad and Katie will miss you. But I will miss you more than anything. I love you, and goodbye

Princess Jasmine “Jazzy” Horwitch
July 3, 1993-January 22, 2008

That’s Our Way! HEY HEY!

January 9, 2008

Some of you may be wondering what that picture is at the top of my page. 

I spent 7 years of my life at Castlemont School. 7 years. That’s the most I will ever spend at 1 school in my entire life. And in one moment, it was gone. The school where I learned the basics for everything. The school where I won a football championship. The school where I ended my baseball career. The school where I first acted (as Macduff in Macbeth). The school where I first sang. Gone.

I had seen alumni come back to visit, and walk the campus and see old teachers. But in one moment, I would never experience that.  All I can do is stand at the gates, or sit in the parking lot and gaze into the school I grew up in. The lawn is over-grown and weeded over. The “Castle” playground has been removed. The “Field Of Dreams” sign on the field still attached to a fence, still with the dents of 100 baseballs hitting it. If you look closely, you can still see the imprint of “Castlemont School” on the bricks outside the Auditorium where there was once a metal sign.
About a week after my graduation, due to foolish errors and careless spending, the director declared bankruptcy and Castlemont was closed forever. Teachers, TA’s, and other faculty and staff put out of work. Hundreds of students were left to find new schools. And the Class of 2002? We were left with a memory.
I plan on getting onto the school’s playground before I go to college. I plan on doing whatever it takes, even if it means jumping the fences that we once thought to be 1000 feet tall.
Its been 6 years since I graduated from Castlemont. 6 years since I played handball and four-square on the “black-top.” 6 years since I ran the track, hiked a football, and turned a double play on the “Field of Dreams.” I just want to one more time. 


January 8, 2008

I don’t want it to happen, but it’s inevitable. Kinda depressed. I have nothing to say


January 7, 2008

I am sitting here holding a pack of cigarettes. I don’t smoke. I don’t intend to smoke. I don’t want to smoke. As I said to the man at the Shell station, “It’s my 18th birthday. It’s just for the novelty of it.” 

I just did some Lottery Scratchers. I won $4 and a free ticket. What are the odds of having the same magic number 2 times in a row?

I also am holding a Super Lotto Ticket. $33 Million at stake. 2 quick picks.
6. 7. 31. 42. 44. Mega 9
11. 22.32.39. 40 Mega 12
     It was a good birthday. Thanks to everyone.

In other news, Fiddler auditions were today. I feel good. Thats about all I can say. I feel good and we’ll see how things go.  

Golden Globes officially cancelled due to Writers Strike. Fucking producers.

In The Dark Abyss…

January 6, 2008

I do my best thinking at night. It is when I am most profound and have the most time to stop, reflect, and write. Like now for instance. Why am I up at 4:10am on the last day of winter vacation. Something is on my mind, but I’m just not sure what. I am wide awake and typing, and like Vladimir and Estragon in “Waiting For Godot,” I’m not sure why…..

This is my personal blog. I was about to edit the Off The Deep End blog (offthedeepend.wordpress.com) when I click the link on the blogroll to Clayton’s blog. The idea then came to my mind, “Hey! You should start your own blog.” So here I am. At 4:13am. Sitting in my bed and listening to the rain come puring down outside.

I turn 18 in 19.5 hours…
I swear, my other posts will be more enlightening than this.